Just can’t stay mute on this one

January 19, 2010 by

Okay, that’s it! I have spent my entire professional career as an addictions counselor and therapist being very politically neutral in public.  I just can’t do it anymore. Maybe I will change the name of the blog to Rouge Therapist Conversations, or The Politically Incorrect Counselor.

Here’s what got me fired up enough to run to the computer with my hair still in a towel from the shower. I have been, like most of us, listening to the debates and reports and evaluations of the Health Care Bill and Reforms with interest and usually, confusion. What the Hell is it really? How will it affect me personally, as a direct purchaser of my own health insurance? How will it affect my clients? How will it affect my business?  How is Mental Health coverage affected? And what idiot thinks that Medicare actually works so well that we should model everyone’s coverage after it?

Ok, quick digression: I heard a program on NPR that talked about Medicare fraud. I was shocked and appalled. I suspect if they could manage the $64 BILLION in fraud yearly, of which last year ONLY  $4 Billion was recovered, I’m thinking they could pay the providers a living reimbursement. Here is an opportunity to develop a program of client advocacy, to help those covered by medicare who are most susceptible to fraudulent use of their information to understand what it means.  To help clients take an active interest in their health care and really know what is happening to and for them. To help them monitor their care and navigate the Medicare and Health Care System maze.  How about that for a good use of AARP lobbying and money. I think I will suggest it to them, as a members (you get your invitation at age 50, but that is another digression).

Ok, back to today. I am listening to NPR’s program “Tell Me More.”  Yet another discussion about Health Care Reform and how it is and could play out in the Senate is the late Ted Kennedy’s seat is not won by a democrat. And here’s what blew me away: the abortion coverage issue.   Clearly I need to read up some more on this , but apparently some anti-abortion senator from  somewhere in the mid-west wants to separate out the abortion coverage. In other words, if you want the abortion coverage, you have to write a separate check for it. HUH????????

Who the heck thinks a woman PLANS to have an unplanned  pregnancy and get an abortion. What misogynist thought that one up? That has got to be one of the most absurd things I have ever heard.

Oh, I’d better pay for this coverage just in case  I need it?  Better to use your money to pay your bills, or save it , or purchase birth control. Better to put the government money toward compassionate education about sex, sexuality, family planning and birth control.

I would truly hope this absurdity doesn’t actually pass; I’m just floored that a discussion like this would actually come up.

All righty then, my blood pressure is back to normal, and the hair dryer is plugged in.

Filed Under: health, health insurance, Politically incorrect

accomplishments

November 9, 2009 by

Whew, what a great day!  I got a lot accomplished, some of which I wasn’t expecting to have time to do. It helped balance out the unexpected changes in the day’s schedule.

Although I don’t consider myself a teacher, in many ways it seems to come naturally to me. I am used to the role of therapist/teacher/counselor/coach on a small scale, usually 1 to 1. I haven’t been working with groups often since I stopped working in intensive outpatient programs, which I miss very much.  (grist for later posts on the groups and seminars coming in January 2010 at my office and via teleseminar). Anyhow, I taught a technique to the members of one of my weaving guilds, and we all had a grand time. After I got over my dry mouth and forgetting my great ice-breaker jokes and fabulous self-introduction, I found my rhythm and totally forgot that I was nervous.  Should have done my self-hypnosis before rather than after the anxiety bit, but it worked itself out.

I have to do that again sometimes, the teaching. Yes, and the self-hypnosis. It is nice to have the hypnotherapist guild you through a healing trance, but it is also very empowering to elicit change in yourself.  The self-hypnosis in between the sessions with the hypnotherapist really support the continued change and growth, especially with issues like anxiety, weight management and smoking cessation.

So riding on the high from the workshop (yes, for you addicts reading this, there are things you can do to have a good time without drinking and drugging!), I came home and set a few goals to make the best use of that cheerful, positive energy. My poor old Yorkie isn’t so happy with that; the old guy is almost 16, suffering from chronic kidney disease and is mostly blind. He may be going deaf also, but it is hard to know if it selective or real….he’s always been pretty independent and commands like “come” and “stop” have never meant much to him. I’ve been promising him a bath for a few weeks, and finally got him in the tub today. I feel wonderful that I accomplished that; he’s still wrapped in a towel and blanket, shivering and looking at me with a glare somewhere between pity and loathing. But he smells good and he’s nice and clean, and he’s really going to be in an uproar when I get the nail clippers out in a few minutes. Good, check another thing off the list!

Some cooking is on the agenda for tonight also. One of the biggest helps in creating a healthy body and weight is avoiding processed foods with additives, lots of salt and sugar in their many disguised forms, and “bad” fats. Just by cooking my whole grains and veggies myself, I can avoid those additives. I can add in good fats, like avocados and olive oil. I can also cook ahead for a few days, and prepare a few meals myself to keep in the fridge. We all like convenience, and the time I spend cooking and making more than one meal at a time gives me the convenience of reaching into the fridge without the consequence of processed foods.

I must also mention that I cook for the Yorkie. I read the label on the prescription dog food that is recommended, and shivered. Yuk! So I did some research, and came up with natural diet recommendations for canine kidney disease. So I cook for all of us at once. I can cook 2 batches of yummy beef /rice and sweet potato/egg/veggies for him and it lasts a week.  And except for the beef  or chicken and raw eggs, we pretty much eat the same thing. I won’t digress today on why our pets seem to be developing illnesses like obesity, kidney disease and cancer. Yes, environment and genetics are  factors for animals as well as people, but we can certainly impact our health and the health of our pets by what we feed all of us.

To end the day, a little zen knitting. Ahhhhhhhh!

Filed Under: hypnosis, meditaiton, Mindfulness, nutrition, relaxation, self-awareness, self-care, stress management

What to expect in therapy

October 30, 2009 by

After the question how much, the question how long is often asked. How long will this take, how long do I have to come?  It’s a fair question, but not always easy to answer. If you enter a program, such as an addiction treatment program, you are usually given an expected length of stay, such as 5 days, 3 weeks, 2-5 months. This should be based on accomplishing the goals of treatment, or your treatment plan.

In individual therapy, the length of treatment is not as clear. It depends on what issues you wish to resolve, and how long it takes to resolve them. It is based on the definition of “resolve” that you and your therapist work out.  Does resolve mean the issue is completely gone from you life? Does resolve mean you can function relatively well on a daily basis, but still have some occasional, lingering emotional distress.

It can also depend on the type of therapy and therapeutic process just a few of which are: cognitive therapy, brief therapy, solution focused, psychodynamic, hypnosis, DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy).

Most of the time, I see clients between 6 months to two years.  Again, that depends on what your goals are, and what the problems you want to resolve are. After the acute stage, the crisis or final straw that brings you to therapy is managed,  the next stages of healing can be the focus.  Maintainance and ongoing support continue as long as it is beneficial to the you.  This is evaluated and discussed as therapy continues.  It is optimal that you and I, client and therapist agree when it is time to close, and set the goal to complete the treatment.

Sometimes, a “refresher” helps someone get through a tough time, or as my therapist used to say tripping over a wrinkle in the carpet.   Sometimes, you, a client, needs a break to process information, to practice living life with new ideas, coping skills and emotional clarity. I have client who came for therapy for about a year. She felt that she had gotten what she needed. She returned to treatment about 8 months later, ready to deal with the next “layer” of healing.  She commented that she feels that she is making progress so much faster now than during the first year. Indeed, she seems to be taking quantum leaps in emotional healing.  What a joy to be along on her journey!

Some clients may find that psychotherapy, or even addictions treatment is not what they need. They need support and feedback on another level, a level that has to do with personal growth and little to do with a “diagnosis”.  For these clients, coaching, or life coaching is a good fit.  More about coaching in future posts. Maybe it’s for you!

To your well-being!

Filed Under: coaching, self-awareness, Therapy and counseling

Committment

October 27, 2009 by

Or sticking with it.  What holds you back from blogging, or writing or other goals?  Can you identify the obstacles? Once you identify the obstacles, do you feel free to move forward? Who can support you in your committment to change?

Whoops, I’m back. distractibility is one of my obstacles. When I sat down to write, I decided that I just had to try the hempseed milk I had made earlier and put in the fridge to chill.  For you addicts who are reading, no you can’t get high from it. Says right on the package, non-viable hulled hempseed. Oh yes, distractibility.

Perfectionism is another. Does that resonate for any of you? If the words don’t come perfectly in order, spelled, grammatically correct in the appropriate syntax, why bother? IRRATIONAL THOUGHT! Devil be gone! The great thing about writing is you can start by just putting down your ideas, then weaving them into a story. The final product can be edited and even redone. The trick is to know when it is edited enough, as a perfectionist can always find something the change to make it better. Balance, that is one way of dealing with perfectionism. Take risks, don’t take yourself so seriously. Know what need to be done perfectly, and what can be done to the best of your ability. Keep a sense of humor, being careful not to slip into sarcasm, which is thinly disguised anger. Be gentle. Be kind. Be firm but not harsh. Nourish yourself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

Filed Under: perfectionism, self-care

starting over

October 27, 2009 by

Ack! Didn’t do so well with my last goal. However, a do-over is OK, and I start again, blogging daily.  

I stopped at my local all service printing/mailing center to drop off some packages.  While  chatting with the ower,  he mentioned that he and his wife were heading for their 45th anniversary.  On further thought, he mentioned that they had been dating for 3 years before they got married. He smiled and said “she was 16….she was hot.”  Then his smile broadened just a bit and he said she was still hot. Wow!   Maybe I should go back and find out what the secret is.

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As the season changes, the days get shorter and the weather cools. Well, got downright cold in NJ last week, cold enough to snow where I live.  It’s a good time to remember to take care of yourself.  Get enough sleep. Dress for the weather. Eat well. Of course, this one is a subject of debate.

There are some basics to think about that can have an impact of your health and more.

~ Buy locally when you can, organic if possible. This supports local farmers and economy and uses less resources.  Fresh from the farmer, at the farm or farmers markets really does taste different from fresh in the supermarket. 

~Eat seasonally. There is a rich fall bounty, and many of the foods are warming to warm you from the inside. Cooler weather brings to mind yummy soups and rich stews.

~Eat less meat and more vegetables.

~Whole grains are the “good” carbs. Not sure what whole grains are?  Ask a holistic nutritionist or someone who eats them.  My friend Kathy is a great resource: http://www.backtobasicwellness.com/

~Add probiotics to your diet. You can get these in supplements, but also in foods like yogurt, kefir and kombucha.  You can find kefir, a fermented daily drink in some grocery stores and in health food stores. Kombucha, a fermented tea drink, can also be found in health food stores, and a friend found it also in her local asian market.

When we feel better physically, we feel better emotionally. When we feel better emotionally, we feel better physically.

To your health!

Filed Under: health, nutrition, relationships, self-care

Creativity and Wellness

September 20, 2009 by

Getting back on track. Yes, it’s a process, not an event.  It is easy for me to get distracted with my creative pursuits. although I consider therapy and coaching art as well as science,  I do have other pursuits that are not related to my work at all. I hope that you do also. Something that you do that you are passionate about; something you already do or want to learn how to do.

I’m pretty far out of the loop, but I remember a time when nursing homes, substance abuse rehabs and other institutions had recreational therapists.  These activities kept residents busy, hopefully stimulated and could give them a sense of accomplishment. In the rehabs, addicts relearned or learned for the first time, how to use leisure time.

Many of us might laugh at the idea of leisure time. There is always something that needs to be done, somewhere to be, something to accomplish.  This is true to some degree. I wonder what happens when we allow ourselves some time everyday to be creative. Or maybe, just change how we look at some of our activities, seeing the creativity in them.  Taking pride the in the accomplishment, instead of just checking it off the to-do list.

So, what are you passionate about, or what would you like to be passionate about? Cooking? Reading? Writing? Pottery, woodworking or fiber art? Decorating or restoring? Try something new, and stimulate your brain. Refresh your skill doing something you haven’t done in a while. Continue doing what you have been doing all along and do it more often, and notice how much more energy you have, how much more patience, how much more enthusiasm you have for the more mundane tasks when you add some creative time into the schedule.

Filed Under: creativity, self-awareness

Why our health matters

September 16, 2009 by

I heard part on an interview with Dr. Andrew Weil today.   He has a new book, “Why Our Health Matters” and I am very much looking forward to reading it.  It’s been a while since I read any of his books, but I often see his articles and read them with interest.

Dr. Weil talked with Diane Rehm about his opinions about health care reform,  insurance, and most importantly, about learning to prevent disease.  I really liked that approach.  Making lifestyle changes does not insure we will never get sick, but can reduce the risks of many illnesses and diseases.

Just changing how we eat can make a big difference in our health. I am not a nutritionist, but I do know that if I eat certain foods,  I just don’t feel right. The better I eat, the better I feel.  I’ll bet you have had similar experiences. Dramatic and drastic changes in how we eat are not always easy, but there are simple and gradual changes that can have a signficant impact over time.  One suggestion is to avoid as much processed and fast food as possible. This is sometimes a challenge in our busy lifestyles, but can provide big rewards.

Think about taking a cooking class if you aren’t sure how to cook from “scratch”; it is often easier than you think, and you can learn shortcuts like preparing ahead so you always have better, healthy choices for meals and snacks.

Although I missed part of the show, I didn’t hear any mention of mental health, and it’s impact on our overall health.  From my chair, I see significant changes in overall health as clients learn to reduce stress, become mindful and develop a positive outlook . I’m not talking about faking happiness, but really learning to be happy, and accept to good and the bad with grace.

Filed Under: health, Mindfulness, nutrition, self-care

Experiment day two: Clearing for healing

September 14, 2009 by

I love what I do. I am absolutely passionate about my career choice. The focus is ever evolving, I am still in the helping/healing field, but I am not doing it the same way I was over 20 years ago.  I am fortunate also that I get so many gifts, spiritual gifts from my clients/patients.  They teach me a lot. In the beginning of my career, when I had little experience, my clients taught me how to help them.

When we get out of our own way, we are often the expert about ourselves. That’s not to say that we don’t need guidance, education and support, but we often know what needs to be fixed.  The support helps us recognize our strengths, so we have resources to fix what needs to be fixed, to become whole again, to live as a whole person, to live a whole and authenic life.

I decided that clearing my desk would be a good start to reducing the distractions so that I could focus on the blogging experiment. At least now I have a space to work, and that tipping over pile of mixed papers is now clearly into manageable piles. I know what is in each pile, and what needs to happen next with it. The junk mail is in the recycling basket.

Among the interesting items I found in the pile was this quote from a client: “So much of therapy is bringing a boat to those who are adrift.”  What a wise person, a wise young person. I can say that now that I am over 50. Who gives who the gifts?

Filed Under: emotional healing, self-awareness

Journaling for healing and the experiment

September 14, 2009 by

Ok so here’s the experiment. Blog for at least 15 minutes daily. After 21 days, I hope that the habit will be ingrained. Oh, you thought this was a challenge for you?  I believe that you could get a healing benefit from doing it, so much so, that I am taking the challenge myself.

What brought this on? Well, partly looking at the last update (hanging my head).  Partly was a very invigorating conversation with fellow weavers and spinners last night about blogging. One of the women asked how long I spend blogging every day. I started to laugh, then realized what a great question that was. I could continue to hang my head, or turn it around into a postive challenge. Hmmm, just the kind of thing I might suggest to you, in my professional capacity.

Journaling has been recommended as a healing tool for a long time. Sometimes, new journalers are intimidated and overwhelmed. They compare themselves, wondering if they are doing it “right”. I’m not sure that there is one right way to journal; the right way is the way that works for you.

Journaling can be words carefully penned in a beautifully bound blank book.  Journaling can be pictures, drawn, sketched or cut out from magazines, or favorite, meaninful photos or memorabilia. Or any combination of the above, or any of many creative mediums that you can imagine. Or blogging.

I remember a quote by Carol Christ, that our stories validate who we are. How powerful! It matters less if your story matters to others than if it matters to you.  Our stories include our private and public faces; personal and professional. Not all the details are appropriate in every venue, that’s about boundaries. The most important thing is that you tell you story, or you share your knowledge.

Take the challenge. Enjoy the process of healing. Journal well!

Filed Under: clearing clutter, creativity, emotional healing, journaling, self-awareness

Remaining teachable

July 6, 2009 by

Therapist uses herself as example of remaining teachable.   I have avoided buying a salad spinner until recently.  I couldn’t decide what size, or if I REALLY needed one, or if I had room in the kitchen. “Oh forget it!” I would think. Until the next time I passed the salad spinners in the kitchen store.   Being an avid fiber person, or should I say rabid, I also wondered if it would be better to get a salad spinner for my veggies and lettuce, or a larger one for spinning the water out of wool that I had dyed or yarn I had spun and then washed.

So here’s the lesson: Keep it simple.  I am sure you have heard that one. Stay focused. Remember your goal.

It’s summer now, and the shares from the community supported garden (CSG) I belong to includes lots of wonderful greens. Which got me thinking of the salad spinner again. And of all the paper towels I waste blotting my lettuce, and dripping tea towels when I use them instead. So I used my handy-dandy 20% off coupon, and after reading all the boxes and looking at and test spinning all the samples, purchased a the smallest model. Go figure, it turned out to be the perfect purchase!

I thought I blotted my lettuce very well, but the salad spinner really makes a difference. It is quick, easy to clean and saves paper towels and wet messes. Ahhhhhhh!  And I’m actually eating more salads and greens now, since I don’t dread the mess. Prep is a breeze.

Many of the things we do in life are metaphors for how we live our life. When we have successes, we often forget to apply the learning to other areas. Sometimes a seeminly small thing has larger implications. I don’t think that means we have to look for the lesson or learning in every single thing we do; rather, to just be open for the lesson when it comes from unexpected sources.

And eat more salad!

Filed Under: healthy habits, Mindfulness Tagged With: , ,
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