This script is for talking with important people in your life; it is not necessary to talk to just anyone from a feelings place.  Eventually, you will be able to communicate this way without using the exact script and will find it not only to be effective, but a relief as well.

In therapy and in self-help book and meetings, people are encouraged to speak assertively and express their feelings. Sometimes, this message is misunderstood and misused. I have heard people in my office say awful things to a spouse or child and then say “I am just expressing my feelings.”  Well, ok, they are expressing their feelings, but not in a way that has the other person listening. In fact, they are often attacking and spewing pent up hurt and anger, which leave the receiver running and ducking for cover, or curled up in the fetal position on the floor trying to protect themselves. Sometimes, the recipient has emotionally checked out, or will physically leave the room. [Read more…]